[Whatever Fauna was going to say is interrupted by the arrival of their ramen, however.
Yuuto would be forgiven for questioning if there is actually ramen in this ramen. It's got piles of chashu, chicken, and beef, with shredded ginger and bamboo shoots mixed in it all.]
... Hold on a minute.
[sorry, yuuto. serious talk in a minute. for now, we must FEAST.]
[And Yuuto is immediately overwhelmed! He cracks open his chopsticks, but has no idea where to start. He’ll just… try picking pieces of meat and trying to locate the noodles.
A couple of mouthfuls later and he’s starting to get the hang of it.]
[Fauna slurps up big mouthfuls of noodles, wrapped around chunks of meat... When her mouth isn't full, though-]
Meat takes a long time to digest, compared to other foods. So if you aren't sure if you'll be allowed to eat later, filling up on meat can help get you through it!
[She sounds... so cheerful. Like that's a perfectly normal thing to happen.]
[Yuuto doesn’t have a happy way to answer that. He’s never had anywhere to belong. Even the world he was born in only had him for a few weeks. His birth mother lost him almost immediately. He doesn’t even remember her voice.
His smile softens and he puts a hand over his chest, guarding his Distortion.]
That’s why, when I say I’m here to help and protect… I’m really happy, Fauna. Because that includes you and this ramen shop, and everyone else that we both love.
I'm glad, but I still... You've been protecting and trying to make everyone else happy for so long, right? That's.... That's why I got so mad. Because I want you to be happy too. You deserve to not have to work so hard for that anymore.
[Is it wrong? She's not sure. Is she just... projecting? Pushing her own desires onto Yuuto? Assuming that he must want the same things she wants...?
Or is it her own morality? She doesn't know.]
... That's just it, I think. I hate... you being 'useful'. Because you keep making that sound like that's what you're worth, when that's not it. I... want you to want things.
If you were some kind of Buddha, and you really had transcended wanting, that would be one thing, but.... Even if you're a 'kami', you're no god or Buddha. You're just like everyone else.
[Transcend wanting. Wouldn’t that be nice if he could? Instead he’s lived his life trying to bury his wants and avoid being disappointed. But the things that he wants feel so silly and selfish, compared to his ability to help and protect.
She’s right. He tries to belittle his own desires. They hold him back.]
… Kami like Giratou and I aren’t normal. We weren’t decided upon by humans. We were here before them. This world exists, because we exist.
My soul was attached to Satou-san’s child… I think. I don’t remember a life before being ‘Yuuto,’ but I know I should exist in all times and spaces. [Being vulnerable is hard. But he tries, even if his voice feels like it’s drying up.] Why was I given so much power? If I don’t use it… am I wasting it?
... I don't think it's about wasting it or not wasting it. It's not about your power, even.
[Fauna takes a moment to take another mouthful of noodles, as she tries to put her own thoughts in order.]
Before you have power, before you're a kami, you're Yuuto. That's the important part. I don't claim to understand this sort of thing, but... If your soul attached to you for a reason, and you're supposed to be everywhere but you don't remember anything before being Yuuto, then... Doesn't that mean there's a reason that you're Yuuto?
... Maybe I'm just being naive, but I would want to believe that. Your soul became you for a reason. There's something that it needs, that it can't do as "space-time", but it can only do as "Yuuto"... and I think that would be, living as a human.
[It catches him off guard at first. She says it so simply. And maybe it is a simple thing. He's just had it backwards this whole time.
Yuuto was born the Spacetime kami, so he has to be useful.
Could it be the other way around?
The Spacetime kami was born as Yuuto, so he could rest.
Yuuto doesn't say anything for a long while. He quietly eats his ramen, trying hard not to cry. But the food is really good. It's warm, tasty, nourishes a body... He wouldn't be able to enjoy this without his human body.
After he's taken a sizable break to eat, Yuuto nods.]
[He’s surprised to hear it: Yuuto knows how special a ‘real’ name is. He holds Inaba’s first name close too… So he recognizes the trust and lights up with a smile.]
Eh? Really really? Yayoi is such a cute name..!
Our names have the same first Roman letter..! We must be destined to be close!
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[Whatever Fauna was going to say is interrupted by the arrival of their ramen, however.
Yuuto would be forgiven for questioning if there is actually ramen in this ramen. It's got piles of chashu, chicken, and beef, with shredded ginger and bamboo shoots mixed in it all.]
... Hold on a minute.
[sorry, yuuto. serious talk in a minute. for now, we must FEAST.]
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A couple of mouthfuls later and he’s starting to get the hang of it.]
You really like protein, huh..?
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[Fauna slurps up big mouthfuls of noodles, wrapped around chunks of meat... When her mouth isn't full, though-]
Meat takes a long time to digest, compared to other foods. So if you aren't sure if you'll be allowed to eat later, filling up on meat can help get you through it!
[She sounds... so cheerful. Like that's a perfectly normal thing to happen.]
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”You too,” he thinks sadly as he looks down at the piles of meet.]
That makes sense, mm. You don’t have to worry about food now that you’re here though, right? You’re going to be happy and healthy from now on.
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[She looks down at her ramen contemplatively.]
I guess some habits really are hard to break... Well, it's not like we need money here. Which is good, since we're not really getting cases right now.
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[He leans back slightly in his chair.]
This is the first world that’s really felt like ‘home.’ I’m glad that there’s a little bit of peace… I want to keep it that way.
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This world feels like "home". More than Seitei ever did.
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His smile softens and he puts a hand over his chest, guarding his Distortion.]
That’s why, when I say I’m here to help and protect… I’m really happy, Fauna. Because that includes you and this ramen shop, and everyone else that we both love.
I’ve never felt more at peace with my life.
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[She shakes her head.]
I'm glad, but I still... You've been protecting and trying to make everyone else happy for so long, right? That's.... That's why I got so mad. Because I want you to be happy too. You deserve to not have to work so hard for that anymore.
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I still don’t understand… Is it wrong to be happy that way? I don’t need to want anything. I can make it work… I’m grateful to be useful.
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Or is it her own morality? She doesn't know.]
... That's just it, I think. I hate... you being 'useful'. Because you keep making that sound like that's what you're worth, when that's not it. I... want you to want things.
If you were some kind of Buddha, and you really had transcended wanting, that would be one thing, but.... Even if you're a 'kami', you're no god or Buddha. You're just like everyone else.
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She’s right. He tries to belittle his own desires. They hold him back.]
… Kami like Giratou and I aren’t normal. We weren’t decided upon by humans. We were here before them. This world exists, because we exist.
My soul was attached to Satou-san’s child… I think. I don’t remember a life before being ‘Yuuto,’ but I know I should exist in all times and spaces. [Being vulnerable is hard. But he tries, even if his voice feels like it’s drying up.] Why was I given so much power? If I don’t use it… am I wasting it?
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[Fauna takes a moment to take another mouthful of noodles, as she tries to put her own thoughts in order.]
Before you have power, before you're a kami, you're Yuuto. That's the important part. I don't claim to understand this sort of thing, but... If your soul attached to you for a reason, and you're supposed to be everywhere but you don't remember anything before being Yuuto, then... Doesn't that mean there's a reason that you're Yuuto?
... Maybe I'm just being naive, but I would want to believe that. Your soul became you for a reason. There's something that it needs, that it can't do as "space-time", but it can only do as "Yuuto"... and I think that would be, living as a human.
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Yuuto was born the Spacetime kami, so he has to be useful.
Could it be the other way around?
The Spacetime kami was born as Yuuto, so he could rest.
Yuuto doesn't say anything for a long while. He quietly eats his ramen, trying hard not to cry. But the food is really good. It's warm, tasty, nourishes a body... He wouldn't be able to enjoy this without his human body.
After he's taken a sizable break to eat, Yuuto nods.]
... Mm. Being alive as a human is really nice.
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[Fauna smiles. Hesitant, but hopeful.]
It's because we were both born as humans that we could meet like this and care about each other so much.
... Here in Starsand... It's the first time I've ever thought that I'm glad I was born. That I'm glad I'm alive here, with you.
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We can't let the Facility destroy a place this kind.
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And we won't. But that means protecting yourself, too. You're a part of this world, too.
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Mm. It's kind of funny... I won't even be born in this world, but I get to belong here. Things work in strange ways.
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... Hey, Yuuto.
[She takes a deep breath, steadying herself. It's about time... She trusts Yuuto.]
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Deep, calming breath. You can say it. You can say it... Just say it.]
... My name is Yayoi.
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Eh? Really really? Yayoi is such a cute name..!
Our names have the same first Roman letter..! We must be destined to be close!
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I'm not sure that's how it works, Yuuto. That's some lazy destiny if it only cares about how you spell your name.
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